The new "R Word"

When you look at this little boy, what do you see? I see a boy who has a hold of my whole heart. I see a little boy who has one of the best laughs in the entire universe. I see a little boy who has grown more in a year than most people do in a lifetime. I see a little boy who I couldn't live without. I see my sweet little Cakes. Do you know what I don't see when I look at this little boy? Autism. But guess what? He has it.

Tonight while Husband was on his lunch break clear the hell in Asia, we had a quick video chat. He told me a story; a story that both choked me up and infuriated me at the same time. It goes a little bit like this...

Husband recently overheard a conversation in his shop between some guys, one of which was drawing a picture. Somebody asked, "Are you an artist?" and another fellow said "No, he's autistic.". Husband ignored this first encounter. He thought it perhaps seemed innocent and he was irritated, but bit his tongue. Tonight the same fellow was on the computer at work looking for some one on the internet to ask them a question. While doing so, he referred to said person he was in search of as autistic much like the other conversation, but this time in a much more derogatory manner. I can't remember the exact phrase he used as I was in too much shock from hearing the story to recall. This time though, Husband approached him and said "Excuse me, why are you saying that?! My son has autism and it's not [bleeping] funny!"

Autism is not funny. It's heartbreaking and it is not something I'd wish upon anyone. My beautiful little boy does not have an easy life. He goes to full-time preschool Monday through Friday from 9-4. He has two hours of behavioral therapy three days a week. He's done all of this for a year straight. In this year, he went from saying zero words to 15-20 words. He's gone from having a complete meltdown both at home and in public to hardly any meltdowns at all. He's gone from injuring himself when he's overwhelmed or overstimulated to calming himself rationally. He's four years old and he's learned all this. Is he "normal"? No. Has he met the "milestones" set for his age group? No. But you know what? He's by far the smartest kid I know. He may not do typical things the way he's supposed to, but if you met this little boy, you'd understand that he's far beyond his years in intelligence. What's more, this little boy is one of the loves of my life and I will fight to the death for him.

Autism is not a derogatory word, joke or put-down. It is is a developmental disorder that appears in the first 3 years of life, and affects the brain's normal development of social and communication skills. It is not funny. It is not something to be taken lightly. It is not the new "R Word" and I will do my best to make damn sure it never gets to be that way.