Boys, dude. Boys.

Look how adorable my kids are, dude. I have to give a shout out to FotoFly for the super rad pictures and The Hippie Chick Boutique (who is also my rad friend and fellow military wife) for the super cute shirts that say "All I want for Christmas is Daddy home!". So much rad is wrapped up into this one little picture. And do I even have to mention the miracle that all three of them are not only smiling, but looking at the camera?! Amazing doesn't begin to describe it.

There is a HUGE part of me that is not only excited to have these, but relieved as well. Relieved, you ask? Well, let me tell you a little story.

A couple years ago, Bean (my oldest) fell and knocked his two front teeth on our kitchen floor. We didn't really think much of it. He got a bit of a bloody lip out of it and we hugged him and told him to walk it off and that was that. Sometime later (I'm not sure how much, really), his two front teeth started changing color. I just started brushing the crap out of them thinking it was bad brushing habits. His homies at school were pointing out the odd color of his teeth and I told him his friends were just jealous they weren't as awesome as he was... because that makes the most sense, right? Right.

Fast forward to a few days ago. I sent Bean off to kindergarten as usual. He is walked home by two older boys in the neighborhood from the bus stop everyday, but this particular day I hear a TON of kids at my door as I'm walking up the stairs from the basement to greet him. He's standing over the railing looking at me and 5 or 6 kids are frantically yelling unintelligibly over each other from my door. I look at Bean and notice a black spot in his mouth. As I get closer, I see one of his two front teeth (which were NOT loose, by the way - yes, I've been checking!) is MISSING. Not only is one of them missing, the other one looks like this...

That junk is hanging out, root and all. I yell, "WHERE IS YOUR TOOTH?! WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR TEETH?!?!"

He calmly replies, "It got knocked out" as though it was an everyday occurrence. I finally get all the kids to take turns telling me what happened and from what I gathered, he was standing on the bus and got told by the driver to sit down. In the process of trying sit down, he slips and smacks his mouth on the seat in front of him and knocks the tooth out. No one knows where the first one went, but apparently it was pretty bloody and the bus driver stopped to clean him up.

I'm now faced with trying to figure out what to do about that wonky tooth. It was REALLY loose and the root was out on the one side. Ironically, I was in the process of getting our dental insurance in order. Since Husband is deployed, I have to fax in my Power of Attorney along with a bunch of paperwork, but haven't had anything finalized yet. Even so, I needed to see a dentist. I wanted to make sure his jaw was okay and see what needed to be done about all this.

I call a local pediatric dentist and of course, they're closed. Barely. The dentist's cell phone number was listed on the voice mail for emergencies, so I called him in a panic. He only answers "Hello?" and I had forgotten his name and had forgotten to write it down so I reply ridiculously, "Hi... umm... are you a dentist? Because I forgot your name already if you are.". Luckily he was cool and he laughed. I told him our story and he had us come in an hour later to check it out.

After some x-rays, laughing gas and an episode of Phineas and Ferb, Bean had his tooth pulled. Come to find out, the first smack he incurred on our tile when he was two or three had cracked both his teeth in half and the odd color they'd become was because they were dead. Yes, it's true. So, because of them being dead, they popped out easily during this exciting school bus adventure. Bean is only five and his adult teeth are nowhere near ready to come out, so the dentist guessed he'd be toothless for the next two years.

So, I guess he's going to be wanting his two front teeth for another couple of Christmases. He's pumped because his friend said he looks like a pirate... at least he's a cute pirate.

Wake up call

Around 2 AM last night, Bean comes into my room screaming "WHY IS IT BROWN?!?!". I was super disoriented and had no idea what he was talking about or what time it was; I just knew I wanted him to knock it off so I could sleep. He stands at the foot of my bed ripping his shirt off and continues screaming his random question. After I get him quiet and calm enough, I've come to find that he has thrown up in his sleep.

I clean him up and then walk downstairs to evaluate the situation. I smelled it before I saw anything. I walk into his room to find that he did indeed vomit and it was indeed brown. It looked like a gallon of chunky chocolate soup had been spewed on his pillow, mattress and wall. Yes, the wall... which had dripped angrily on to the carpet. I lifted up his pillow to take the case off for washing to find that the entire left side of the pillow had absorbed and was dripping in puke. Awesome.

I took all the sheets off and left the pillow inside the massive mess and just threw it in the washing machine as quickly as I could since I was holding my breath in an effort not to puke myself. I then wiped the wall and carpet down with Lysol wipes and then sprayed it down with Lysol spray to be doubly sure that it was clean and hopefully no longer smelly.

After all was said and done, I washed my hands and went back to bed with Bean at my side (and a giant bowl at his). Then, an hour later, Bean gets up to pee. I sat up from my bed and glanced over at him in the master bath to witness him then both pee and puke at the same time. I'm going to have to say, I was impressed. His aim during both was nothing short of amazing. If there were awards for such a thing, he'd take first place. The rest of the day has been about the same. Let's hope tonight fares better.

To pee or not to pee

Tonight as I was bathing Cakes, my mind ran across something that it actually bumps into often at bath time. I have no idea if I'm just totally odd or if this is something a lot of parents think about. With Cakes having autism, he's not especially verbal. He has a handful of words he knows and uses, but the vast majority of what comes out of his mouth is screams (the majority being happy/excited) or gibberish. Because of this, a lot of  what should be easy tasks to the "typical" kid are not so for Cakes.

For example, he is four years old and is not potty trained. I think he grasps the dynamics of what it's all about, but I don't think he understand how to make his own body perform the function. This is not for lack of trying, however. Both his teachers and aides at school as well as his in-home therapist take him to the bathroom several times a day and have charts breaking down each step of the process. In his four years, though, he's only actually peed in the potty twice. Two nights ago... he peed in the bathtub right after I took him off the potty.

This lead me to wonder: how many times has Cakes (or any of my kids for that matter) peed in the tub without my knowledge and I totally bathed them in it? Have I done it? I mean, I know urine is sterile, but that is still unnerving to think about. Gross.