I have a confession.

I could totally write about how my little Cakes used the potty for the first time EVER today with his ABA therapist. It was awesome and exciting and many other adjectives of the positive nature. I could totally write about how husband being home for a mid-tour break from Asia kicked ass and magical memories were made and how badly it sucked when he left again. I could TOTALLY write about how I have consumed enough coca-cola for nine people in the last week, but I won't.

Today, friends... I have a confession.

When I was 13 or 14, I became obsessed (and I mean... stalker obsessed) with a band. I bought BOP magazines and I cut their pictures out and I hung them on my wall until two of my four bedroom walls were literally wallpapered with these people. I joined their fanclub. My entire pre-pubescent allowance was invested in listening to, looking at, reading about and watching this band. Not once, though, did they come in concert where I lived. My best friend bought their concert tape (YES, VHS, GET OFF ME!) and we watched it and screamed like we were there. We also laughed as we realized the lead singer had a dance that made it appear as though he had to pee whilst playing the keyboard standing upright. It was delightful. All of it.

So, two nights ago, I get a text message. My little sister, who was probably six at the time, tells me they're coming to town in concert. I contacted my BFF from the old days to tell her and we just bought tickets. That's right, friends.

WE'RE SEEING HANSON IN SEPTEMBER! 

This is where you stop judging me and just listen. I have waited fifteen years to see these people and I don't care that they look like girls or that they've since had 17 children each or that my husband shook his head at me during a FaceTime and said "Wow" when he really meant  "Yikes". You. Just. Stop. I don't care that I'm practically almost menopausal (if almost-30-year-olds are menopausal) or that I just spent $34 of my husband's hard earned money. This is happening and you can't stop it. I swear to everything holy, if they don't play MmmBop, I will kill myself.

Beanisms

I have to write down (i.e. copy and paste from my personal facebook) all the ridiculous stuff my six-year-old says before I forget and I have nothing to blackmail him with. Here we go... 

My sister's dog was just neutered last week. My eldest son, who is six, had some questions.
Him: Why is Aubie wearing that cone? 
Me: Because his boy part got cut off. 
Him: What?! I would die! 
Me: Well... he still has his wiener. They just had to cut off his balls. 
Him (totally serious, by the way): Are you sure his butt didn't swallow his balls? 

Me: (in traffic) Come on over, douche canoe! I'm surrounded by idiots! Oh... Don't say the naughty words mom says, kids!
Him: Then don't SAY them, MOM. 

Him: Mom... Don't speak Spanish.
Me: What? Why? 
Him: The new girl, Fernanda, doesn't know what the heck I'm saying. She takes her books out at the wrong time and I'm like hey! Wrong time, Fernanda! But she's like... Spanish. So, don't speak Spanish or you won't know what I'm saying. 
Me: BAHAHAHA!

Me: Do you like my new shoes, buddy? 
Him: Mom, you are so stylish. 

Him: Did you know there are people in this world that don't want kids?!
Me: Really? Why not?
Him: Because they buy cars with only two doors!

Him: Mom, you know what's really stupid? 
Me: No, what?
Him: People sleeping in [Asia] when they don't live there. 
Me: .....yes.

Him: Mom... it is not okay to poop in the bathtub. 
Me: .....????

Him: Guess what mom said I can say?
Sister: What's that?
Him: Oh my gosh!!
Sister: Oh my gosh?
Him: Yeah, like, OH MY GOSH WE'RE GOING TO DDDIIIEEE!!!!

Him: Look at this Halo (as in the video game) guy over here!
Me: Oh, that's cute!
Him: MOM. It is NOT cute. It's awesome... (Sigh)

Me: Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious! Even though the sound of it...
Him: Stop!
Me: You don't think my singing is cool?
Him: It's beautiful, but it is NOT cool.

Me: It's time for bed, dude. Seriously. 
Him: I will sleep when my heart tells me it's tired!

PC Laptops Commercial: "... because we love you!"
Him: WHAT?! Fix 'puter guys don't love people! Uggggghhhhh!

Him: Were you little when you married dad?
Me: Little???
Him: Well, not little... medium sized? Were you?

Bean got a to-go style barf bag when we left the hospital after a minor surgery. He never used it, so I threw it away. Then this ensued...
Him: Can I eat the rest of my candy in bed? 
Me: No, I don't really feel like cleaning up your barf in the middle of the night. You can have a cheese stick or you can just go to bed. 
Him: Mooooommmm! I. HAVE. A. BARF. BAG. 
Me: I threw it away, you didn't use it!
Him: WHAT?! I never barfed in it! Seriously!?! I could have used that! 
Me: (blank stare)

Me: We aren't leaving your room until you've cleaned the whole thing. 
Him: Mom, you're annoying me.

Husband: Do you want some burrito? 
Him: Oh my gosh, I told you to stop speaking spanish!

I only scrolled back to December of last year, but I figured these were enough gems to get me through his first date. You're welcome.

The touchy subject...

I felt compelled to stand on my soap box about what seems to be a touchy subject. The one subject that can REALLY get me riled up is autism, but that's not what this is about. Today, I'd like to talk about my thoughts on the gay community.

Before you start sighing and huffing and puffing and virtually throat punching me, just wait a second. I'm came across a post today that a friend of mine had "liked" on Facebook  The post was a cartoon drawing of some one talking to God. The basics of were that the person was asking God if our country was being punished because of the gay community, but God said he was punishing us for how we were treating them. Out of sheer curiosity, I read the comments on this picture.

I'm sure any of you that have ever read a conversation between Christians and the gay community will know this turned out exactly the same. Those who either were gay or were supporters of gay were bashing the Christians and the Christians were bashing them right back, but using the Bible to do so. I'm kind of tired of this.

I was raised in  and practice the LDS Christian faith. Husband is also a Christian, but is not of the same faith as I am. We were both raised with the same basic beliefs, however and I think we both feel pretty similar on this subject. When it comes right down to it, I don't have a problem with people who are gay. One of my first bosses of my working career referred to himself (and I quote) as "gayer than a $2 bill". I'm still not really sure what that means... but he was rad. He was hilarious. He was a good boss and treated my coworkers and me fairly. I didn't look at him and think about what he did in his free time or who he loved and/or was in a relationship with. I saw him as a person.

I think Christians are too caught up on this subject. We're too busy worrying about how (insert adjective here) we think it is and aren't practicing what we preach. Am I going to advocate on capitol hill for gay marriage? Probably not... but that doesn't mean I can't love all of God's children regardless of their sexual orientation, race or otherwise. What, exactly, is the point of arguing about this? It sure as hell isn't Christ-like and posting a comment that is verbally abusive in either direction isn't really that great plea for your case. I'm also fairly certain that quoting the Bible isn't going to change a person's mind in that one instant because chances are, they've heard it before. This is a path they've chosen (this goes for both gays and Christians) and what you say to a complete stranger on Facebook isn't going to suddenly make them realize that you're right and they're wrong. Especially those comments that are negative.

I think that this can go for many things, if you think about. Gun control, politics, you name it. You won't change a troll's mind, so how about we all agree to disagree and stop wasting our time and energy on people you will more than likely never meet. You can't beat a dead horse. I guess you could, but it'd be pointless and therein is my point. Whether you're gay and/or support gays or you're a Christian who believes otherwise, it's not our job to force any agenda/opinion on those that don't want to hear it. Even in my own religion, the missionaries don't force doctrine down the throats of those who say they don't want to hear it. If they're told no, they move on. Why is the internet any different?

PEOPLE OF THE INTERNET!!! I hope we can just enjoy our own personal journey and improve ourselves for the better instead of arguing that everyone around us needs to be up to our personal standard. I have a different opinion than a lot of people on a lot of things, but I'll never tell you I'm right (even though I believe that I am). Worry about you. Your grass can be green if you take the time to tend to it.