How to deal with a military family

I've noticed an odd trend lately and it compelled me to write an impromptu how to post. The trend I speak of is "civilians" not having a clue how to handle me or my family. I will say, however, that this is not true for everyone. There are a couple super rad chicks in my neighborhood that I don't have to censor myself around and that have brought me treats and/or company in my time of need. As for everyone else, this is for you.

Husband is gone for another 10 months. Is this hard? Yes. Is this frustrating? Yes. Do I want to talk about it every spare second of my day? No. This is the first time I've lived in a civilian-only neighborhood in six years. On a military base, I've found that most people not only know what you're going through, but some of them are going through it with you. They don't act as though this is the hardest thing you'll ever endure, they just ask if you need anything and you take turn watching each others kids so you can have a break. You have dinner together, your kids play together, you whine together on bad days and laugh your faces off on a good days.

Here, I've found that's so very different. People don't know what to say so they either don't say anything or they try to be empathetic which sometimes comes off very awkwardly. I can appreciate the effort, but I'd rather that they say "Hey, if you're not doing anything, (insert fun alternative to my intense boredom here)!" instead of "I don't know how you do it!" or "You poor thing!". My situation is one where I don't think about how I do it, I just do it. There's not much to it besides that. My kids still have to eat and bathe and go to school, so I make all that happen. While I appreciate the sympathy, I'd rather we go to lunch or get ice cream. The sympathy is actually, most days, counterproductive to my attitude.

I just want to make it clear that these people are GOOD people and I appreciate every single one of them regardless of how they react to me and my situation. I just want to make it known that you don't have to talk about it... treat me like you'd treat any other person you'd encounter. Just don't judge me when I cuss or mention my intense need to hi-yah one of my kids when they're being naughty.